Friend XD

· When you're sad, I'll get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry person who made you sad.

· When you're blue, I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

· When you smile, I'll know you finally got laid.

· When you are scared, I will laugh at you and ask why.

· When you are worried, I'll tell you horrible stories of how much worse it could be and to shut up with the whining.

· When you are confused, I'll use simple words to explain it to your dumba**.

· When you are sick, stay away from me until you're better again, I don't wanna catch whatever you're having.

· When you fall, I'm going to point at your clumsy a** and laugh out loud.

· This is my oath, I pledge to the end. And you ask, why? BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FRIEND!"